1. |
Prelude (Wanderer)
02:27
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You can hear them laugh, choking on the blood.
Spit the poison "If you're careful you don't have to fall in love."
This is just another lapse, waiting for my skin to crack,
Failing to admit the past's addicting like a drug.
So I fall asleep beneath a moon
That's cold and calloused just like you,
A force of nature misconstrued,
A primal evil through and through.
So through and through I'm through with you
Beneath this blueish hue.
I never knew that you would prove untrue
in lieu of two and two.
I follow suit like I'm the Jack of Hearts on sleeves,
Who always plays the Joker every moment that you leave.
You're swimming in my blood, like a vessel you depart.
Every beat that skips and jumps brings you closer to my heart
And it starts
Like a cardiac arrest,
I'm feeling weak and dizzy with a tightness in my chest.
You're breaking down the barriers I've buried in my flesh
And then hysteria ensues as if I'm on the brink of death
Blessed, when I start to catch my breath,
Less like I'm trying to impress flesh,
Sick of every single stress test
When I only want to confess
To all the demons that I carry
That I'm cold and walk alone in this eternal January
I'm a monster again
Feeding on pain from my family and friends
My mind tells me constantly
Wait until the morning comes
And night breeds hypocrisy
Laughing at the setting sun
So I lay awake and lie
Like I trapped myself in my own hell to wait there 'til I die
But I try...
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2. |
Familiar Stranger
03:07
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Build it up quick, mix that mortar in with bone.
This land you bought is paid for but but your house is not a home.
It's just a place you like to go to hide your dirty little secrets,
If you can't fool yourself at least your skeletons believe it.
I keep on sleeping at the wheel.
Yeah, I'm an up-and-coming failure.
All the days I spend awake
I hide from my familiar stranger-
Are you the creature from my dreams?
The ghost that's echoing my screams?
The esoteric symphony that plays in silence?
I wait and weigh the cost of all the friends in graves I lost
To see if I can find a plot for me to rest in when I rot.
Just lay my body down, say goodbye without a sound
'Cause I don't need nobody singing "Once was lost but now am found"
Watch as I become The Lord of Flies
I'll make my minions multiply
And turn to millions, hypnotized,
And then we'll swarm and take the sky,
Black out the sun, turn day to night,
I'll light a torch so we can scorch the earth
And bridge The Great Divide
Of Mice and Men, I'm Lenny with a bullet in his head
It's clear that everything I love will disappear or wind up dead.
So hold me close, and whisper all your secrets in my ear,
But not too loud 'cause we don't want the skeletons to hear,
My dear.
Build it up quick, mix that mortar in with bone.
This land you bought is paid for but but your house is not a home.
It's just a place you like to go to hide your dirty little secrets,
If you can't fool yourself at least your skeletons believe it.
I can taste the poison forming on my tongue
Every sentence I construct is reprehensible
I'm done with the fight
I'm wiping the blood from eyes
So I can see past my own plight
The rain it pours down from the skies
To symbolize all of the lies I fantasize and leave behind
I lost my mind within these lines that intertwine but I don't mind
I'm feeling fine.
I'm Frankenstein, the way that I created this monster
Or maybe Dr. Jekyll with these secrets I harbor,
I'm sipping the elixir as I cautiously saunter
I'm Odysseus disguised and being labeled imposter.
I'm Chaucer, traveling down the road to Canterbury.
Edgar Allen, tales of murder fear of cemeteries.
Crossing circles, channeling my inner Alligheri.
Mrs. Woolf, the river's looking welcoming and scary.
I'm breaking down the barriers I've buried in my flesh
So when hysteria ensues I'll know I'm better off confessed.
I'm blessed.
Build it up quick, mix that mortar in with bone.
This land you bought is paid for but but your house is not a home.
It's just a place you like to go to hide your dirty little secrets,
If you can't fool yourself at least your skeletons believe it.
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3. |
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(I, The Conflict)
I heard the wind whisper madness.
...At least, I thought it was....
It's more than likely I confused my inner dialogue.
It's more than likely I'm a mess but just cant see it.
'Cause even when I'm at my best, I don't believe it.
I'm a corpse, The Walking Dead, Romero fed, I'm teething,
Chomping at the bit for just a bit of flesh, I'm bleeding.
The loneliness inside my head is beating it's disgusting fist.
Oblivion is where I live but I don't mind, it's freeing.
I walk around The City of the Damned,
Waiting at the gates to see my friends.
If I could write a song to raise the dead, a Gaelic chant,
I wouldn't have to write these songs that feel depressed, I know I can't.
Instead I push away my living friends, escape into my consciousness,
And pretend that the pretense isn't because I'm afraid of death.
(Lea Bochicchio)
Outside the moon rises,
and I can't look away now.
I can't look away 'cause
Outside the world sleeps sound.
So I think I'll raise the dead now.
I think I'll raise the dead now.
(Sikes)
More people should show their scars
And spend less time staring at the sky counting dead stars
Dreams are for people who are sleeping
And some people sleep so much
They may as well just stop breathing,
Wake up - its better for your health
Don't waste your time giving a damn about anybody else
Life doesn't play fair so why should you?
Turn your back on all your values and just cheat your way through
Cuz i have given so much and gotten so little back
Except some extra weight on my shoulders
Now i'm walking like a hunchback
Humpty dumpty sittin' on a wall
You know the story - everybody has their falls
But on that jigsaw tip i'm clever
Cuz even though my life is in pieces i can still puzzle it back together But no matter how hard i scrub i'll never have a clean slate
Cuz there ain't a chemical strong enough to make things okay
(Lea Bochicchio)
Outside the moon rises,
and I can't look away now.
I can't look away 'cause
Outside the world sleeps sound.
So I think I'll raise the dead now.
I think I'll raise the dead now.
(I, The Conflict)
If I could write a song to raise the dead, a Gaelic chant,
I wouldn't have to write these songs that feel depressed, I know I can't.
Instead I push away my living friends, escape into my consciousness,
And pretend that the pretense isn't because I'm afraid of death.
(Sikes)
Cuz even though my life is in pieces i can still puzzle it back together But no matter how hard i scrub i'll never have a clean slate
Cuz there ain't a chemical strong enough to make things okay
(Lea Bochicchio)
Outside...
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4. |
Sun Setting
04:43
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Patient. Take it slow. I feel the wind run through my hair.
It's icy fingers fail to comfort, I'm forsaken once again.
My lips are longing for your touch - Am I confused or just a liar?
'Cause I know that when you're honest you're just fueling up the fire.
So when you're kissing me, Miss Innocent,
Peeling off my skin again,
Finish all your sentences,
'Cause this is where our story ends....
I bleed out - fade to black - roll curtains
I'm certain I'm not coming back.
Sun Setting - All my fair-weather friends
Lose sight of light - fight or flight - rainy-day trends.
And I'm guessing I might've tried more to pretend
That I wasn't tired of the lies starting within.
Begin - Patient, take it slow, I'm afraid.
Miss Innocent sleeps, but I've been up for days.
I'm on my last leg standing with my ear to the ground.
I'm a sober-straight face with my head in the clouds, singing...
The setting sun. I'm not ready yet.
I sleep with stars, but they're tearing me apart.
November failed me once, December brought me to my knees
January lost it's mind, while February leaves
March will prove invaluable, April sails the seas
May is broken, June is cold, July is just a thief
August is a bastard, September low and poor
October is a harbinger, November is a whore
December says it's all a lie, January's sure
February folded, March is knocking at the door
April's shooting heroin, May just fell in love
June is barely breathing, July is selling drugs
August had a baby, September pled The Fifth
October got a job, November is a bitch.
It was cold out, when he called to say he fell,
Whether a fuck or a friend she could never really tell.
She gave him a part that she ain't never getting back,
He tears her apart like it's a vampiric attack.
And that blood on his lips is looking oh, so precious
She can't look away like she got a death wish.
She's under his spell, he's got her right where he wants
A million miles away pretending here's where it starts
She knows it's a trick, but she's prone and gullible
The feeling's worth the risk, she's alone and vulnerable.
They share a meal and a bed, the sky is ominous and red
The city's on fire, her world is coming to an end
He's walking away, she's left alone to get dressed
As she's looking in the mirror like she forgot who she is
She's feeling something in her stir she hasn't felt in years
A fire burns inside her, a vanquishing of fears.
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5. |
Interlude (My Voyage)
01:53
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She walks in and out of dreams,
An apparition made of glass,
Leaving footprints in my psyche
As she navigates my past.
Her heart is like a compass - steady - leading me back home
Her eyes can be my lighthouse. I'm a shipwreck, she's my calm
I'm made of stone, sinking to the bottom of her poems
I live inside her words and rest my head upon her bones,
Her chest is like the waves, the way it rises and it falls,
I'm mesmerized by every breath and how my lungs are filling
Drowning in her trawl, I fall asleep beneath her starry skies
Drifting further from the shore of self-inflicting self-demise
My bleeding heart is mended as the miles fade behind
And disappear as if the years are just as fleeting as the night.
I no longer feel a fear of the unknown,
My voyage is a blessing and I'm no longer alone.
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6. |
Angst State
02:22
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Give me peace, give me grace, give me love, just a taste
And I'll dance in a way that shows honor and praise-
Wait, I want you to stay
Shame, cover my face
They call it a mayday
I call it an angst state.
All I want to do is shut myself up in my room
And fall asleep and dream of you
Until I believe dreams come true
But I know the difference
And this is just a symptom
I'd rather play the victim
Than sit in silence
Listen to them call, the angels symphony is beckoning
and it reminds me of the light that I know lives inside of me
But I lose sight and constantly try to fight and sometimes flee
but all the running and the shunning's unbecoming
I'm a beast
So keep your distance. Persistent resistance is best.
I wish I could escape all these feelings I dread
And this sickness is intent on eating my flesh
So I write it all down to keep myself in check.
Carry on
I didn't mean to whine and carry on
My anxiety comes with me on my flight like carry-on
And I'm a wayward son, wings of wax, flying toward the sun
I rest my weary head in Kansas
There'll be peace here when you come, so soon come.
'Cause I don't know how much more I can take
My eyes are feeling wet and weak and heavy from the weight (wait)
So much time spent looking up, can't see in front of my face
My entire life is blessed, I'm a recipient of grace.
And I'm ashamed. I'm falling asleep in the rain,
But it can't put out all the flames.
They're tearing apart everything that love
And I know that the answers are waiting above
But it's hard to find comfort in something unseen
When you know that you're just imperfection, unclean.
And it's harder to live with unwavering faith
So I take it a day at a time.
My mind hides. Try to find sight.
My eyes cry 'Life!" I die but I'm fine.
I'm blind. My eyes lie. Try (to) deny light.
I fly. Realize I can't defy life.
And these grays become a softer shade of blue
And these days become less dark as light shines through
And these dreams become achievable and true
So I sing and it's all because of you.
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7. |
Run ft. Lazy JP
03:45
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(I, The Conflict)
I'm half asleep.
As I walk through my dreams I can only try to dampen the screams.
The scope is broader than it seems.
It seems that I might need a Paprika-like invention,
But I'm read to leave.
I stay on course, but rarely finding remorse.
My night turns to day and my day into Morse Code
Death, yes, the burning in my chest
Is a dead man's lung breathing life in the bones of the blessed.
And the storm, it won't rest.
The warm is past tense and this cold is a test.
My mind's often scared of what may happen next,
But I can't look away 'cause there's beauty in death.
Run faster than your little legs can carry
Or you'll become one undone puppet, in the sense that you'll be barely
Breathing.
Just go to sleep now because
If you can't stand the sight of me
I'd rather that you be at peace
Than spend another night beneath
The rolling, tossing, turning sea
I'm hardly making sense of things
I'm not the man I thought I'd be.
So murder me at Twenty-three
So I can never stand to gain
The fame, the prize, the cost, the loss
I'm turning, burning, learning loss
I'm stuck in hell, I feel the swell
It's rising up, I push it down
I lost my mind, it's hard to tell
We're almost there I see it now
Run to your home when the moon is pale
It's like: Run all the way to your grave but fail
They say: Run to the butcher when he's playing it safe
It's like: Run to the sound when they're call your name
They scream:
(Lazy JP)
Run, run, run, run, or become undone.
Run, run, run, run, or come and get some.
Run, Run as fast as you can
I'll do your dance put the cash in my hand
I walk the lands made of ashes and sand
I guess the end of the planet smashed all of my plans
Put the needle in his back like a spinal tap
Find all the lines in his mind, rewind it back
Inject in the present to remind the past
That this losers future's only kind of bad
Because your meant to lead this island of misfit toys
Why try to decide like it's a choice
Hear the cries inside all of the children's voice
When the world that we knew has been destroyed
Some have never seen the light cause they live in the vault
Don't look back or you'll turn to a pillar of salt
All our heroes are dead. Are the villains at fault?
I guess ignorance is bliss so they chill in the dark
(I, The Conflict and Lazy JP)
Run to your home when the moon is pale
It's like: Run all the way to your grave but fail
They say: Run to the butcher when he's playing it safe
It's like: Run to the sound when they're call your name
They scream:
Run, run, run, run, or become undone.
Run, run, run, run, or come and get some.
The dream of Rome has died,
And as a kindred spirit,
I will die along with my dreams...
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8. |
A Dream Within A Dream
04:15
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The snow is falling.
I'm terrified I might've missed my calling.
I'm lost in thought a lot,
(If not, distraught with shots. Appalling.)
I remember, my life in waves, the City by the Sea
We'd spend our days and share our hearts
Until the crash would set me free.
Remember when you parked your car
And tried so hard to leave?
Then got afraid though it'd been days
Picked up your phone and still called me?
I ran all night despite the distance,
Saved your life despite resistance,
Now I write in spire to list your flaws and they're so ugly:
Your suicide fetish is a chore,
Your heart's chilled to it's core,
You're like a monster from the lore in days of yore.
Yeah, you got them eyes that show the world all of your secrets.
Behind your eyes it's dark inside 'cause that's not where you keep'em
I fell right into your spell,
All that stylish apathy and Wicca taught you well.
You knew it from the start,
I was just another guy.
I handed you my heart,
And in return was fed a lie...
The rain is calling.
I'm terrified at night that I'm just stalling.
The sky reminds that I apply the lie to fly when falling.
I try to dry my wings,
When I approach the sun, the string,
It catches fire, I'm consumed.
Daedalus never warned me,
And now I'm forced to wander 'round the Labyrinth
Knowing no way out, limbs are sore, back and forth,
'Til I become the Minotaur.
Yeah, a monster in the flesh.
Dead friends tend to know best, I guess...
I need a confidante, someone who can be counted on.
It seems that all of mine are gone, think you could spare me one?
I'll fall asleep amidst a room that's full of thieves
So when they stab in the back at least I'll know it's all on me
And I won't even try to fight, or make a sound, I'll sleep in peace
Because there's something beautiful in setting up your own defeat,
Surrender all.
You had me at "Hello, let's fall in love!"
It's funny when you think, we didn't even last a month.
It may not always be with kindest of intentions,
But I will fall in love every chance that I get, and
I used to play the chase but now drop out of the race, and
I haven't even asked you where you're going yet,
So run.
This is the anthem for our dying day:
They say that time will heal old wounds and take the pain away.
They say the cure for pain is in the pain that I can't take
It's hard to fake, I shouldn't stay, yet all I want's another day,
I know that life can be misleading
And the times that hold true beauty are too few and often fleeting.
A flower bloomed inside a garden, old and dead,
So colorful and pretty, such a lovely shade of red.
Seven year went by, we'd all forgotten how to live.
A second flower grew
And now they both give us the strength to carry on.
I'm still a little weary of the future,
But when night opens old wounds, I'll use their petals as a suture.
The garden still looks like a place that cold and dead,
But sometimes in the sunlight I could swear that it's majestic
And I love it.
And all I want's to tend and take care of it,
To grow old and buried in,
Reborn where my family lives,
So I don't have to sleep alone anymore.
The burden, often beautiful, is alive and well and knocking on the door.
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9. |
The Fountain
03:59
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... And when I die I hope Explosions in the Sky are playing.
Something beautiful and slow, and all my friends are with me.
I hope they lay me in the sea with flower petals.
Something cinematic, whispering "goodbye" to burning candles.
I've always been afraid of death, the same with living life.
I hope that no one sheds a tear, I hate to see you cry.
I, in that moment, hope they know how much I love them.
I often wonder if I ever show it with my actions.
I hope my sisters stand in front with all their children's children.
I hope my mother found my father at the gates of heaven.
I hope my grandma's long since passed and resting with a smile.
I hope my memory lives on at least a little- I'm a liar.
I'm terrified of letting go, I'm selfish.
Death is just a curse to overcome, I won't allow it.
It's a plague.
I never knew a single person gone
that didn't leave a trail of grief that stretched so long
It never ends.
Loss becomes a blemish on the mind,
It eats away until there's nothing left, like a parasite.
It's symptomatic.
There's nothing ever beautiful about it.
No matter how you dress it up, there's still a burning sadness
In your soul.
I'm a nervous wreck to write about it,
Always looking o'er my should like it's hiding in the shadows.
All my fucking dreams are like I'm drowning in the shallows.
Waking in a panic is a pass-time I accepted
Long ago.
When the fear kicks, I want out my skin, but I'm feeding it.
Then I realize, even if I try, I will perish yet.
So I'm walking, walking backwards, tracing steps from trees in snow,
Resolving to the though that nothing's ever set in stone...
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10. |
Postlude (Voyager)
03:08
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Eyes aren't the window to the soul.
Agony is, and I'm letting it go.
The air in my lungs, is the wind in my sails
So the blindness that was is now lifting the veil.
And I know that this sea is my home,
I am the vessel, I wrestle with ghosts.
They tell me the lies that the dark likes to hide,
So I'm swallowing pride like the bottles I buy.
I'm alive, and as long as there are songs to sing,
I'm alright. Like Eyedea, I will kill the king.
And I'll follow the path laid before my feet.
I'm in love, it's a picture of waste redeemed.
I was lost on a ship drifting aimlessly
Feeling tired and weak, fear of no relief.
'Til a wave like the hand of God gripped me up By The Throat.
I'm a Voyager
Every step I take is in a brighter direction
And though I stumble in my method
I'm a Voyager
Even when I'm shipwrecked and I'm feeling infected,
I'll stand and learn and correct it
'Cause I'm a Voyager
With a new purpose I move, I know that I'll never lose,
Carry a beautiful truth
'Cause I'm a Voyager.
I'm a Voyager.
"Give me all the pain
That anchors you down,
Stuck at the bottom.
I'll carry the weight
So you'll never drown."
Just lead me to autumn.
The leaves,
They fall
And leave
Like me,
But grow
In spring
To heights
Unseen.
Beauty
Has freed
And Shown
Me that I...
I am so unclean.
Undeserving of my life,
I examine the cost.
Caught up in the pain and strife,
I admit that I'm lost.
So I fall asleep, just biding the time I'm alive.
I couldn't really see that I was broken, unworthy, and blind.
Some clever words and some carefully crafted lines.
What can you learn when you're sailing on oceans of pride?
That's all I was 'til a wave like the hand of God capsized my boat,
And brought me home.
I'm a Voyager
Every step I take is in a brighter direction
And though I stumble in my method
I'm a Voyager
Even when I'm shipwrecked and I'm feeling infected,
I'll stand and learn and correct it
'Cause I'm a Voyager
With a new purpose I move, I know that I'll never lose,
Carry a beautiful truth
'Cause I'm a Voyager.
I'm a Voyager.
I'm a Voyager
Every step I take is in a brighter direction
And though I stumble in my method
I'm a Voyager
Even when I'm shipwrecked and I'm feeling infected,
I'll stand and learn and correct it
'Cause I'm a Voyager
With a new purpose I move, I know that I'll never lose,
Carry a beautiful truth
'Cause I'm a Voyager.
I'm a Voyager.
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